And Just Like That…

Ideas for season 2 that they will absolutely not do but absolutely should

And Just Like That… (my power, my pleasure, my pain) is officially coming back for a season 2. And while I absolutely lament the fact that Hollywood is continuing its long history of desperate self-cannibalization over creativity, and while I think Season 1 was a qualified failure, and while Che Diaz continues to haunt my dreams, I am genuinely thrilled. In celebration (?), here are plots that should but will not happen in Season 2.

A note on my credentials: I’m in a constant state of re-watching Sex and the City, and have seen every episode except three* at least six times. I’ve seen and hated both the movies. I’m a proud Patron of Every Outfit, the reigning queens of all things SATC. And I’m a Miranda sun, Samantha rising.

• Season 2 premiere: Samantha’s funeral, giving us one last legendary Samantha Jones event. Carrie, Charlotte, and Miranda finally reckon with the reality that their friend who illuminated and embraced their most hedonistic, sex-positive, and honest selves is gone forever. Cameos from Smith Jerrod, Friar Fuck, Richard, and a very smug Laney Berlin.

• Che Díaz dumps Miranda, because a monogamous relationship doesn't fit Che’s increasingly rigid brand as a freewheeling pansexual imp. Miranda has spent the episode trying to find any L.A. food that scratches her nostalgic itch for New York, but nothing has really satisfied it. Cameo by Miranda’s tv writer friend Lew, who has a new bizarre eating disorder that serves as an outlet for his stress at being the showrunner for Che’s sitcom.

• Black Twitter drags Carrie’s Love Someone with Delilah-ass podcast when Carrie uses AAVE as part of a Classic Carrie joke. Miranda has a strict No Twitter rule—“it’s like inviting all the idiots I hate into my house to scream their misinformed opinions at me.” The mounting scandal forces LTW to distance herself from Charlotte for a while, for the sake of her husband’s political career.

• As her adolescent children start to grow more distant from her, Charlotte decides to turn her energy into opening her own gallery. After she spends a frenzied week trying to decide which outfit to wear at her grand opening event, Charlotte confesses to Harry that she’s terrified of putting herself out there as something other than a mother, a role that has defined her for 15 years. Harry reminds her that she’s still the same passionate, articulate, and self-possessed woman he fell in love with, but now with 15 years’ more life experience.

• Miranda starts wearing little lawyer suits again, and gets major attention from the Park Slope lesbians. Seeing promos for Che Díaz’s new show stops being so painful as she realizes her new power as a hot single queer woman. Meanwhile, Seema discovers that her boyfriend is an international man of mystery whose previous aliases include Tony from Prada.

• Carrie finds herself addicted to the drama of secretly dating her podcast producer. A chance encounter with Aiden sends her spiraling about her somewhat self-sabotaging romantic patterns, and questioning whether the zsa zsa zsu is worth all the stress.

But if the SATC writers room DOES want to use any of these ideas, I accept payment in size 11 Manolo Blahnik Mary Janes.

*The three episodes I refuse to rewatch: “Boy, Girl, Boy, Girl…” (s3, e4), the episode where Carrie dates a bisexual man and the entire episode is just Biphobia On Ice; “No Ifs, Ands, or Buts” (s3, e5), the episode where Samantha dates a Black man and the show manages to objectify Black men and demonize Black women in one fell swoop; and “Cock-a-Doodle-Do” (s3, e18), the episode that is just wall-to-wall transphobic “jokes.”