Jennifer Lopez: Now That's What I Call Me!
it's perfect, it's passion, it's setting me free.
My DMs have been blowing up over this trailer, y’all.
There is no time. We simply must get into it.
What is this, exactly?
This is Me…Now, which my friend Tuck brilliantly renamed Now That’s What I Call Me!, is the long-awaited (?) sequel to her 2002 album This Is Me…Then. Notably, …Then was her “I’m dating Ben Affleck” album, which included the hit “Jenny From The Block.” My read is that …Now is J.Lo’s Lemonade, or The Wall. It’s a visual album comprising about half a dozen vibes. We see Jenny return to the extremely green screened block. We see her in group therapy, and one-on-one therapy with her dear friend Fat Joe. We see her in some kind of factory, presumably leading a dance revolution. We see three identical weddings. We see her with at least four paramours, at least one of whom is clearly modeled after her ex-husband and former member of her dance team Cris Judd; and at least one of whom, despite them keeping his face obscured, is clearly her current husband and famous chin-haver Ben Affleck.
And we hear her refer to herself as a “hopeless romantic,” and say that, “whenever someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, my answer was always…in love.”
J’obsessed.
Is this for real?
To be Jennifer Lopez is to commit, to a terrifying degree. Unlike some of her peers, J.Lo has never wanted to come across as effortless. She wants you to know how hard she works, for everything, all of the time. She is an incredibly glamourous theatre kid, in her own way. (This is part of what compels me so much about her relationship with Ben Affleck, a man who obviously craves and courts celebrity while visibly suffering from the weight of it. But that is for another essay.)
That level of commitment also means she cannot sustain a sense of humour about herself. Irony and detachment are simply not her tempo. Terminally online gays may remember this Gay Men’s Chorus performance, which became a Moment in Gay History when their list of “the gayest moments in films that you may not have realized were gay” became a list of just Laura Dern existing. Laura Dern loved it. But my favourite moment of this performance is J.Lo’s reaction to being included on the list for pole-dancing to Fiona Apple in Hustlers.
My girl is frozen. She cannot laugh. She cannot enjoy this moment. A woman who loves wigs and furs as much as she does should be much more comfortable with her gay appeal. But she takes herself too seriously.
I say all this to say: this is absolutely for real.
Who is this for?
As with everything J.Lo does, this NEW INTIMATE / CINEMATIC / MUSICAL EXPERIENCE is primarily for J.Lo. But it’s also for the people who were captivated by her rekindled romance with Ben; the ones who marvel at the resilience of her Wedding Movie Industrial Complex in the face of her having zero chemistry with any of her on-screen grooms; and anyone who recognizes that there is no living celebrity who is giving what J.Lo is giving. This woman’s every moment is intensely choreographed, and yet she still manages to be messy in this extravagant, Elizabeth Taylor kind of way. She refuses to acknowledge any limits, including those on her own vocal range. She is determined to be simultaneously down-to-earth and entirely unrelatable. In other words, she is a pure star. If you can recognize that, then this experience is for you.
Will you be watching?
Shit yeah. See y’all on February 16th.
“Famous chin-haver” 💀
I had completely missed this....wow. Definite theater kid energy.