Losing to the mayor from Jaws

Post-mortem of a "flawless" campaign.

Dear readers, yours truly is processing the presidential election the best way she knows how: by imagining exactly how the mayor from Jaws is still the mayor in Jaws 2. Please enjoy this work of satire.

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November 5, 1975
April O’Neal, Amity Gazette

The results of Amity’s mayoral election are in, and it’s official—Mayor Vaughn has handily won re-election. Mayor Vaughn rose to a certain level of notoriety after a series of shark attacks that plagued the small island town over this year’s 4th of July weekend. While he received support from his Board of Selectmen, the mayor often butted heads with his chief of police and campaign opponent Martin Brody.

Chief Brody, a transplant from New York with few ties to the island and a deep fear of the water, focused his challenger campaign on criticizing the mayor’s handling of the shark situation. “Vaughn could have prevented numerous deaths!” he argued in his oft-repeated stump speech. “He ignored my advice, and the advice of experts. He put the entire town at risk!” The campaign and its supporters went so far as to dub Vaughn “The Mayor of Shark City.” Still, Chief Brody only captured 42 percent of the vote, reflecting his campaign’s inability to inspire the people of Amity.

Despite these results, Chief Brody’s supporters have referred to his campaign as “flawless,” pointing to his accurate predictions of shark-related carnage, as well as his killing of the shark using a highly pressurized tank of oxygen. On the other hand, Vaughn supporters labeled Brody as an enemy of the working man, given his support for closing the beaches on the town’s most lucrative weekend.

“Listen, the chief is a perfectly respectable man, and I’m sure he’s capable at his job,” said Selectwoman-elect Taft. “But he’s not an islander. He doesn’t truly understand what we islanders need. I asked him one question—are you going to close the beaches? His answer spoke volumes.”

“I just can’t believe it. I can’t believe it.” Colin Sullivan, 32, lost his dog Pipit to the shark on July 3rd, the same afternoon that Alex Kintner was killed. “I was so sure that after all those people died, and after Pipit…” Mr. Sullivan teared up. “He was a sweet boy, having fun at the beach like everybody deserves to. Chief Brody told the mayor about the danger, and instead of showing any leadership, the mayor bullied the medical examiner into reversing his report about Chrissie Watkins. Just so he could get richer.” (Chrissie Watkins, a visitor to Amity Island, was the first known victim of the shark in question.)

Alex Kintner’s mother, Judith, loomed large over this election. Her son was only eight years old when he was eaten off his yellow float in front of half the town. Some, like Mr. Sullivan, expected Mrs. Kintner to support Chief Brody’s mayoral run once Mayor Vaughn’s role in her son’s death was revealed. However, Mrs. Kintner seemed to take pride in defying expectations and publicly supporting Vaughn.

“He shouldn’t’ve let himself get bullied,” Mrs. Kintner snapped about the chief. “If he knew there was a shark out there, one who could eat my Alex, he should’ve never backed down. He should’ve convinced everyone.” When asked about accusations about Mayor Vaughn intimidating public officials and overruling Chief Brody’s concerns, Mrs. Kintner snorted.

“Mayor Vaughn makes decisions, and he backs them up. That’s what a mayor does. I’ll pick a man who backs it up over one who backs down any day of the week.”

“Even if it was Mayor Vaughn’s decision that got your son killed?”

“It was Brody’s failure to act that got my son killed.”

Brody also drew suspicion from the town based on his recounting of exactly how the shark was killed, why local fisherman and noted kook Sam Quint and his boat were lost, and how Brody and his out-of-town fish scientist friend made it back to shore without Quint or Quint’s boat.

Matt Hooper, PhD., corroborated Brody’s story, though he admitted that he missed a significant amount of the action hiding behind a rock. Additionally, Dr. Hooper’s stuffy, condescending attitude drew more suspicion than support from Amity voters.

“Oh yeah, I remember that squirrelly young fella. He would get in our face, talking a lot of nonsense, talking about things called ‘tiger sharks.’ I mean, whoever heard of that?” — Dick Pratt, Amity fisherman

When reached for comment from his Aurora research vessel, the fish doctor had this to say: “I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again—I don’t need this working class hero crap. If they don’t want to listen to me, fine. I hope they get the shark attacks they voted for.”

Despite Dr. Hooper’s derision, many residents praised the mayor for his understanding of Amity’s working families. His decision to re-open the beaches after 24 hours was grounded in their economic reality, they argued, because of their dependence on the tourism industry. “Amity is a summer town. We need summer dollars,” Mayor Vaughn often advocated.

Art by @readfulthings.

That dependence on tourism is a relatively new reality for the town, reflecting sweeping tax cuts at the municipal level that took effect three years ago. Coincidentally, the mayor who presided over those tax cuts was, in fact, Mayor Vaughn.

“I’m a small business owner, so those tax cuts were great for me,” said Selectman Harry Hausen, owner of Harry’s Hat Shop and Haberdashery. “Mayor Vaughn has always looked out for us. As long as he’s running, I’m supporting him.”

Amity now faces an uncertain future. That dark shape below the horizon could just be a school of bluefish. Or it could be a series of increasingly unrealistic-looking giant sharks determined to eradicate the Brody family. Only time will tell.